July 9, 2007

We made it through June! Sorry I have not written sooner, but I needed to get through last month. There were a handful of days when I would turn to Dirk and tell him how awful that day was last summer. This weekend last year Dirk came home to CA and that was a wonderful moment! Now I can breathe again and focus on Dirk’s continued recovery.

Our trip to Hawaii was very special. We had goals in mind before we set off on our journey - let’s replace bad memories with good memories and let’s try to relax and enjoy ourselves in a place that Dirk has always loved. All in all, we were pretty successful accomplishing our goals with the help of our friends in Hawaii.

Honolulu: Visiting the hospital was a particularly special event for us. The emotions I felt are hard to explain because they’re so many and so big. I would do anything in the world for the nurses and doctors who took care of Dirk. I didn’t want to leave the hospital; I felt so indebted and proud of who they are and what they did for Dirk. I think they were thrilled with Dirk’s progress and they reminded me of just how far he has come.

Dirk doesn’t remember much from being in the hospital last summer, but I took him through the motions of a typical day in the life of Kelsey last June/July. I can’t tell you how nice it was to eat at a restaurant and not feel rushed or as though I should be somewhere else. Also, getting in the ocean water was a thrill for both of us!

The Big Island: Dirk had a few more demeans on this island to contend with and overcome. With the help of the Ironman crew our time there was nearly perfect. On the year anniversary we drove out to the site and placed flowers. We were pretty sad, but we felt as though we were facing the painful memory of that awful day last June head on. Some people may question why we would go there- Dirk’s response to that “well, what if next year or the year after I am racing and I haven’t been there yet. I may break down and not be able to finish the race...” Good for him!

Life is continuing to move forward. Last year was filled with so many heartaches and unfortunately they just don’t go away after the year marker. I do think, though, that time heals and we are starting to handle things a bit better. I know Dirk has a lot of anger and sadness inside him. There are days he feels everything (besides me) was taken away from him- job, athletics, driving….independence. We all see that he has made an incredible recovery, but it’s not good enough for him. He wants more and I hope that keeps him motivated. In the last few weeks he has started to go running on his own and one day last week he even went by himself for a bike ride on the path. He just keeps getting better; it’s just very, very slow.

I’ll continue to check in over time- his next MRI is early Sept. Keep thinking good thoughts and sending Dirk the strength to stay motivated and to overcome his deficits.

Thank you to everyone for your continued friendship, love and support. Enjoy the rest of summer!

Love, Kelsey

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